A Letter Left Unsaid

Written by Hudrei Nicole Chua

 

You’re eyes hide the deepest secrets

You’re smile takes away all my regrets

You’re voice gives me endless shiver

That’re some things about you

that makes my thought flow just like a water in a long,

long river

The first time I saw you,

it wasn’t actually special

You’re not my ideal guy as a typical k-pop spazzing girl

But as time pass the moment by,

I realized why the moment wasn’t special

It is because you were the special one,

the moment wasn’t, the person was.

 

There I started to get curious

I’m looking at your profile since the first day,

till yesterday, today,

yes, I’m looking at your profile

and I know it’s been a while

But don’t get me wrong,

I am not a stalker

I am not a stranger dreaming to become your lover

I am just a friend..

a curious friend..

a concerned friend..

yes, I am only a friend,

a friend that will be by your side

until the end.

 

I will be your friend that you can talk to

I will listen to all your rants

and problems, really, I would love to

I will comfort you in times that you are down

I will make you smile

when I see a bad expression in your face– a frown

I will be your shoulder to cry on

when everyone else leave you

I will be brave,

I will stand next to you if you want to

I will hold you tight so you won’t fall

I will help you if I can without any payback at all

I will treat you so special both physical and mental

I will join you in all your adventures,

I will be your pal

I will treat you the best way that I can

And I will love you secretly,

I’ll tell it using a pen.

 

What? What did I just say?

Did I say I’ll love you?

Scratch that I won’t, I can’t

I won’t love a person who is in love with someone else

I can’t love a person whose priority is something else

I won’t be stupid!

I can’t be stupid!

I can’t love you,

I won’t love you because you are my friend

I am your only friend, and

If I love you,

You might be left alone in the end

I may leave you because I’m hurting

I may leave you because you’re asking help in courting

I may leave you because you don’t know

I may leave you because I’m stupid,

that is so

The least I can do is treat you the way I promised

And the thing you can do is know the boundaries at least

I will take the risk because I know you need me

But please do me a favor, don’t make yourself loved by me

Because I’m here to guide and help you

I am your friend and the most stupid secret-admirer

you will have too until the end

I am brave and I am strong

I am helping you though I know it’s wrong

Cause I can’t take seeing you suffer

I can’t take seeing you hurting longer

But I can’t also take looking at the glass,

Where my reflection stands,

Not knowing until when it would last.

 

One day, just like my reflection,

I will disappear

My reflection on the glass,

and I, on your life

Our friendship will end, so, so near

The time will come that I wouldn’t be here

I wouldn’t be beside you,

holding and supporting you,

helping you to overcome your fear

So please, my dear, stay strong

Listen to what your heart says,

listen just like how you do in your favorite song

Learn to fight alone, learn to be alone

Learn to move on, learn the time,

the time that you need to stop holding on

Be ready,

I’m sorry

Stay hardy, and please,

be happy.

 

Sincerely yours,

A friend

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